忆表姐宁和 (by Alex Ding)

    宁和是我大姨的女儿，比我大几岁，是我的表姐。 虽然我们从小都住在北京但是见面的机会很少。 宁和是在长沙上的大学，从1982年起她又去了美国和德国学习和工作，而我1992年去日本留学，因此我们在国内很少有机会见面。

    2000年9月到2001年10月作为访问学者，我有机会在美国工作一年。 我当时是在北卡州立大学工作，而宁和的家在新泽西，相距也很远，因此还是很难见面。 我在Thanksgiving期间（2000年11月）飞到New Jersy去她家玩了2天。 宁和到机场接我，当晚她给我们做了一顿丰盛的感恩节晚餐，主菜是烤火鸡，还有其他一些配餐、水果、甜食。 我和宁和、她女儿、侄子，还有她嫂子家的亲戚一起度过了一个愉快的感恩节。

    后来在回国前夕（2001年9月）我利用1个月的时间集中游览了一下美国的中西部。9月22日-27日, 我与宁和一起游览了Lake Tahoe, Reno City, Virginia City and Yosemite等著名的风景名胜。 宁和很喜欢旅游，她说每年她都会利用休假的时间四处旅游，而我在中国也不会放过任何一个假期去各地旅游，这次正好我在美国，所以我们就一拍即合，约好一起行动了。 我们的目的地是Lake Tahoe，顺道又去了其它几个地方，整个行程一直是宁和开车，因为我在美国时间太短，开车技术不行，对路况也不熟悉，因此她一直坚持自己驾车，我帮她看地图，把握方向，我们一边走一边聊，还不时停下来休息和拍照片。 宁和非常热爱生活，喜欢旅行，去过很多国家，对各地的文化和风土人情都了解很多，知识面又广，所以这一路上我也跟她学到了不少东西，留下了一段愉快、美好的回忆。 遗憾的是我们竟然忘了照一张两个人的合影。

   2001年10月初我就回到中国，之后在北京又见过宁和几次。 2009年我听说宁和得了癌症，还和我是同一种癌，并且发现的有点晚，我感到很震惊，也很为她担心。 她患病期间，我经常和她通电话，随时了解他的病情，也给她一些营养和药物方面的建议以及对治疗方案的看法，我经历过手术、放疗、化疗、肠粘连、再次手术等过程，而她也面临同样的治疗，我真希望我的经验会对她有点帮助。 但是很遗憾，美国对于癌症的治疗理念和治疗方案和中国有太多的不同，而她又不能去左右医生的想法，所以国内的一些治疗理念在她那里很难实现，我感到心有余而力不足。 我劝过她很多次回国治疗和休养，中国的医疗条件可能不如美国，但是我们对癌症的综合治疗方案，除了手术、放化疗之外，还可以配合中医中药、气功、太极等综合调理的方法来治愈癌症，效果应该会比简单的杀死肿瘤细胞好一些。 但是她的事业心太强了，一直不愿意放弃工作，治疗期间还坚持自己开车上班，而且做了很多次化疗之后对身体的伤害很大，体质很弱，无法承受旅途的劳累，她老是说等身体好点了就回来，没想到却没能等到这一天。 宁和在生病期间一直很坚强、乐观，积极配合治疗，在饮食上也注意加强营养，增强抵抗力。 每次电话中她都是很乐观的告诉我她又经历了一次化疗，状态还不错，正在恢复。 我很佩服她与疾病顽强搏斗的坚强意志和乐观精神，不过病魔最终还是残酷的夺去了她的生命。 虽然宁和表姐过早地离开了我们，但是我将永远怀念她，并祝她一路走好。

永远的思念 (by 路小彦)

春季，接到湘利从美国打来的电话，告知她在美国陪伴女儿的生活很好，并计划于五月回国。我很为老同学高兴， 也期盼所有身在异国他乡的朋友们都生活得幸福。继而，湘利又传递了一个沉重的话题，宁和生了重病。我不由心中一惊，抄下宁和家中的电话号码，随后数次呼叫，无人接听。由于常常出差在外，身不由己，不好把握时差，又抱有一份自信的心理，宁和身体那么好，美国医疗条件和技术都很好，况且我将在秋季去美国出差，会去看望她......    而今天，这一切都化作我心中永远的遗憾，永远的思念。

宁和，七十年代，当祖国尚未走出阴霾岁月之时，我俩结伴乘车从首都来到湘江之畔求学，从此成为无话不谈的亲密挚友。数十年你我南来北往，彼此想念，进入耳顺之年，仍难以忘怀那段意气风发的特殊年代。你已享受了精彩丰富的人生，活得潇洒，活得大气，活得坦诚，活 得坚毅，愿你在天堂依旧如此，我们的对话依然不断。

想念你的，

路小彦

2011年7月9日

深切怀念宁和妹妹 (by Lily Wang 王丽丽)

当一位朋友在MSN上告知我的好友宁和妹妹突然离世的噩耗时，我不知所措，甚至希望这不是真的。这两天，我的脑海中总是浮现她熟悉的身影，亲切的笑容，清晰和美的声音，与宁和相识相知的往事一幕幕浮现出来，难以忘怀。1977年5月,我从北京到坦赞铁路专家组工作,到达工作组大院的第一天起我就和宁和同住一室，朝夕相处整整两年。她比我早到专家组一个月左右, 我一住下就得到她热情的接待，使我有到家的感觉。她给我的最初印象是气质平和而高贵，性格外柔内刚，热情大方，真诚友善，为人做事很有原则，有很强的进取心和求知欲，工作认真踏实，一丝不苟。她热爱生活，喜欢运动，充满朝气。相处短短几天时间后，我们就已经做到无所不谈，很快，我们就成了形影不离的好朋友，情同姐妹。早上我们一起到海边早读，然后一起吃早餐，一起上班，在班车上，我们总是坐在一起，欣赏窗外的景观，下班后，我们经常一起打篮球，这恰好是我们共同的爱好，那时候大院的女生很少，经常只有我们两个人打篮球，我们喜欢打全场，跑得很开心，晚上我们一起学习，交流一天的工作，谈论周围发生的事情。当时专家组的工作比较紧张，生活比较单调，有这样一位好姐妹相伴，使我们在国外两年的生活过得很充实，很愉快。

回国后，我们经常见面。每次到铁道部办事，中午我都要抽空去她家里和她叙旧，畅谈现实和未来。正如一位老朋友所言，宁和注定不是一个甘于平庸、安于现状的人，她的进取精神和求知欲望驱使她于1982年毅然辞去国内的好职位远赴美国求学，留学的生活很辛苦，很拮据，回国后她请我去她家，告诉我她计划长期出国工作，迎接更大的挑战。定居美国后，他给我写信，打电话，我知道她在美国的生活很不易，自己带着女儿生活，还要全职工作，但她总是那么乐观，那么自信，从不抱怨。大约1995年，我在纽约和她最后一次见面，记得当时我们都很激动，深谈了很多问题，一直到深夜她才依依不舍的和我告别，没想到这竟我们今生最后一次见面。

后来，我们只是通过电话交流。遗憾的是由于我们都变更了住址和电话，失去联系多年。几年前，我来到澳大利亚墨尔本定居。这两天我总在后悔，要是能早一点联系到她有多好，说不定她会来澳洲旅行呢，她是那么热爱生活，喜欢旅行，勇于探索，她一定还有很多的梦想没有实现。我真心希望上天能够帮助她，让她在天堂也能圆梦。

我深切地悼念我的好妹妹宁和。我们将永远怀念她。

愿她在天堂安息！

王丽丽

2011年7月5日于墨尔本

深切悼念宁和女士 (by Hao Guo 郭浩)

进入盛夏的北京近日来阴雨连绵，甚至电闪雷鸣，暴雨倾盆。今天一早开始，雨又是断断续续的下个不停，搅得人心烦意乱。或许这样天气预示着某种不祥。果然，午饭刚过，突然家中的电话铃声响起，电话机报出的是一个陌生的国际长途号码，来自于我数十年前在援建坦赞铁路期间并肩工作的一位老友 – 至今我仍称他“小包”。我们中断联系大约已逾10年之久了。听着话筒里从美国传来的久违的熟悉声音，令我既兴奋又亲切。然而，老友继而告知我一个坏消息： 我们当初在坦赞铁路朝夕相处的援外战友-我们的好姐妹宁和女士于日前在美国英年病逝。

听到这一噩耗，我的心情从刚才老友重逢的喜悦中一下子坠入悲痛的深渊，犹如冰火两重天。窗外充满阴霾的天空，一如我心中乌云翻滚般的哀痛。往事如烟，别梦依稀，从上世纪70年代初至今，我与宁和女士的友情交往一幕幕在我的脑海中浮现。

最初在坦赞铁路相知共事的岁月历时大约5年。当时，我们都是二、三十岁的年轻人，而且“文革”尚未结束，但是身处坦赞的异国他乡，我们的思想还是相对自由的。虽然工作是紧张的，甚至是繁重的，生活是单调的，甚至是枯燥的，但是因之我们拥有的友情，我们成天满面春风，业余活动丰富多彩，活得快乐、无忧、真实。那是一段激情燃烧的岁月，又是充满纯真的时代。我们都是翻译，我年长宁和五岁，在工作中，我是她的组长，是她的领导，在生活中，我们亲如兄妹。

宁和留给我的印象是深刻的、美好的、独特的、难以忘怀的，她拥有大家闺秀般的高贵气质，外柔内刚的秉性，坚忍不拔的进取精神，孜孜不倦的求知欲望，严谨踏实的工作态度，谦虚大度的处事原则…..她写的字永远是端正和娟秀的、一丝不苟的，她的衣着无论穿什么，总是十分得体和大方，干净和利落，她说话总是柔声细语、亲切悦耳，她的笑容总是那么内敛和高雅，她的一举一动总使人感到一种宁静与和谐 - 正应了她的姓名所展现的宁和之美！

上世纪70年代末，我们相继回到国内后，她任职于中国改革开放后新组建的“中国国际工程咨询公司”，不久即晋升为局级干部。在当时能有幸到这样的央企工作，是很不易的，而且前途无量。然而，宁和注定不是一个甘于平庸、安于现状的人，她的进取精神和求知欲望驱使她于1982年即毅然辞职远赴美国求学，成为中国改革开放后最早走出国门求学深造、探索真理的先驱者之一。记得，当初我受任职的中土集团派遣常驻日本东京。1984年春夏之交，宁和从美国回国休假，我邀请她顺道在东京逗留数日。我们相伴游览了富士山、箱根温泉、日光等著名的风景名胜。

1987年，我又一次受命前往德国法兰克福常驻工作。宁和在我赴德国前也从美国转往德国继续求学和工作，离我的工作地约200公里。我们曾数次利用周末会面叙旧，畅谈人生的抱负，对生命价值的理解和事业的追求等。

随后不久，宁和又再次赴美国工作。我于1993年初去美国出差约两周，几乎每晚我们都互通电话，大有酒逢知己千杯少的兴致。

其后，我常驻阿联酋多年，直至2003年回到国内后，我与宁和在北京多次见面。记得最后一次是在2006年春天，她携带女儿和女儿的男友回国度假，我们一起吃饭叙谈。临别时，出乎我的预料，宁和情不自禁的给了我这位老大哥一个bear hug（拥抱）。想不到，这竟成了我们之间的永诀。

世事沧桑，斗转星移，走过高山，走过流水，走过我与宁和近40年的交往和友情的岁月。往事依然历历在目，恍若昨日，宁和留在我记忆中唯有美好和坚强，一如她的名字 – 宁静与和谐之美。

我深切的悼念我的好妹妹-宁和女士的英年早逝。我们将永远怀念她。

愿她在天堂安息！

                                                                                                郭 浩

             

 2011年7月1日于北京

From Washington Post Obituary Guest Book (by Qiying 启盈)

Every Sunday evening, for me, is Ning He time.  Before 2008, we called each other every now and then.  Around Thanksgiving 2008, she called and told me that she had cancer.  She asked me to get it checked because she is the second cousin who’s got this kind of cancer in our extended family.  From then on we talked every Sunday evening sometimes for as long as 5 hours.

From those calls, I witnessed the heroic fight she put up against the disease.  While an average stage 4 patient has less than 1 year after the diagnosis (per her doctor), Ning He had 2+ years when she was relatively healthy and living life to the fullest.  After the first two rounds of successful chemo/radiation, not-so-good news started to appear.  She would not dwell on them instead she focused on the next fight.  Every time I would be upset and down hearing about those news – without exception she would lift me up by the end of the call and I was, like her, full of hope again.  She was truly the A+ patient - I told her that if the doctors could bottle her spirit, they would have prescribed it to all their patients.   

As I told her by her bedside on 6/14 – Ning He you’ve lived a good life traveling the world making great friends.  You’ve fought a good fight and have *won* in my book.  You truly can leave without any regret!

Speech at the Memorial Service (by Wen-Hua 文华)

In the afternoon of June 24, Xu Ning asked me if I could say a few words about her mom at He Ning's memorial service to be held the next day morning.  That night, I struggled very hard writing it because there were simply too many things but too little time to say about He Ning.

I took the early train from New Jersey to Washington DC the next day morning. When I got out of the Union Station, the weather was sunny and beautiful. The taxi driver was extra nice to me and got me to the church on time.

Inside, in front of the altar, He Ning's picture was surrounded by flowers - white peonies, chrysanthemums, lilies, roses, hydrangeas …  Right away, I recognized the red vest. The picture was taken in a garden when He Ning travelled with us in Spain in 2007. She seemed to be looking at me, and then beyond me, with a mysterious smile, still so calm, so gentle, and so wise.

My speech was after the eulogy by He Ning’s son-in-law. With a very emotionally difficult start, I read on, slowly but clearly. I did not want people to miss a single word I had to say about He Ning.

How I wish I had more time …

I hope what I said and how I said it made He Ning proud.

To read my speech at the service, please click here.

宁和大姐，你走好了！(by Paul Bao 包华富)

此时此刻，在两千多英里之外的华盛顿，你的亲朋好友正在教堂里为你送行。由于路途遥远和预定旅行计划所限，小弟不能前去看一眼你遗照上的笑容，向亲爱的大姐鞠个躬，向远行的你挥挥手，道一个珍重，祈一声平安。因此，我打开了电脑，匆匆写下这几段文字，以表对大姐的深深缅怀，在我悲痛的心中默默为你送行。

宁和大姐，我们虽毕业于同一所大学的同一个专业，而且你也只高我一届，但是在同学期间，我只知道你的名字，只看过你在篮球场上的飒爽英姿和含蓄的嫣然一笑。真正开始认识你，是我们同在坦桑尼亚首都达累斯萨拉姆工作的时候。当时，我刚到中国援坦赞铁路工作组工作，分到你所在的运输组。初到那遥远陌生的南国，接触那些当地的铁路官员，心里总有那么一点发颤。作为学姐，你真诚热情地欢迎我，在我遇到曾在北方交大上学的当地调度员的故意刁难时，鼓励安慰我，使我很快就适应了环境，担当起自己的职责。时隔多年，我已经记不得我们在一起工作了多长时间，好像只有数月，又好像有近一年，可是，大姐对我的关爱，却永远温暖着我的心。驻地篮球场边你的笑容、海滨游泳野餐、周末聚餐、共饮新鲜椰汁、采摘黄熟的芒果、饱食自己抓来的蓝腿大螃蟹，这一幕幕的往事，迄今还历历在目。我还期望某日到华盛顿去探望你，叙叙旧呢。没想到那该死的病魔却活生生地夺走了你还如此年轻的生命！

宁和大姐，在人生的轨道上，我很有幸几次与你相遇，而且还总是你先到我后至。你肯定还记得，1983年的春天，你在新泽西工作了，我又刚到美国求学。大学里放春假了，我飞到你所在的城市去看望你。当时我在美国的一个小而闭塞的大学城，几乎没有任何东方人的面孔，也没有机会去看外面精彩的世界。当在机场看到迎接我的你，那可是多么的亲切，你的音容笑貌，在分别约五年后，又一次格外地温暖了我的心。当天，你接了我就带我去曼哈顿游玩。虽说是春假期间，但曼哈顿还有初春的寒意，那天你穿着红黑相间的花丝绸薄棉袄，黑色的西裤，走在曼哈顿的大街上，面带自信从容的微笑，突显东方女性苗条 优雅、端庄大方的美丽形象。时隔多年，我们具体游玩了哪些地方，购买了什么物品，我已经完全记不得了，但大姐的亲切、热情和美丽却永远储存在我记忆的硬盘里。傍晚回到住处，你还为我做吃的，并给我从国内带来当时还不够争气的衣服缝补上脱开的线。你一边在灯下干着手中的活，一边跟我聊着在美国公司里同事间的一些趣事，偶尔也叙说我们当年在非洲的一些往事。因为时间有限，我第二天就离开了。你到机场送我，一直送我上了飞机。在登机门前挥手告别时，我看着微笑的你，心想我们一定会有再见面的机会的。

可人生是那么不可预测，之后我回国工作，第二次来美国求学，而后又留在美国工作生活，却只有通过若干次电话而没有再见过面。至今想来，我非常愧疚！我愧疚自己没有与你时常保持联系，愧疚2010年末听说你患病后没有及时去看你，以致痛失给你安慰和支持的机会！

宁和大姐，我相信你现在前往的一定是一个美好的世界！因为小弟知道，你独立自信、发奋图进的精神、你博爱宽容助人为乐的品格、你朴实无华美丽优雅的形象，曾像阳光一样温暖过许多像我一样的朋友和熟人。若宇宙间果真有天堂，那里肯定有一方属于你的奇妙净土，任你发挥你的聪明才智和无穷创造，让你需要时静静地安息。大姐，我感谢你在人生的几个交叉点上给我的温暖和关怀。在你远行的今天，我遥祝你一路平安！大姐，你走好了！

包华富

2011年6月25日于美国凤凰城

Obituary

Please click on the link below to read Ning He's obituary posted in The Washington Post on Friday, June 24, 2011:

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/washingtonpost/obituary.aspx?page=lifestory&pid=152180577

In lieu of flowers, contributions may be made in He's name to The Nature Conservancy .

From Qihui Yang ( 杨琦辉 )

I was very shocked to learn that He Ning passed away on June 16, 2011. I couldn't believe that is true when Wenhua, her close friend, told me the sad news this morning. I have been feeling so sad since then. We have been friends for many years. Ning was a hard worker, a courageous fighter with cancer and a great mother. I have not seen her for a few years due to some reasons. I was intending to go to DC and visit her last year, but did not make it. Now, she left us forever. I feel so sad and so sorry about that. I have lost a very good friend and I will remember her.

A tribute to He Ning from Bob

I am deeply saddened by the loss of my dearest friend He Ning. My love and respect for her had steadily grown during the 6 plus months that I knew her. During that time I witnessed first hand her courageous battle against cancer. I admired how she handled herself throughout that ordeal never letting it get her down remaining positive for herself and those around her. She continued to work and even found the strength and energy to volunteer with several charities during this trying time.

She was strong, independent and selfless to the very end. I remember when the doctor told her that she only had a short time to live. She said,"I am glad it is only a short time so that the people around me  will not have to suffer too much."

From her sweet voice and wry smile to her kind heart, I will miss everything about her.

Memorial Service for He Ning

The memorial service for He Ning will be held at Holy Rosary Church.

Date: Saturday, June 25, 2011

Time: 9:30 AM

Location: Holy Rosary Church, 595 Third Street, NW, Washington, DC 20001

Phone: 202-638-0165 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting              202-638-0165      end_of_the_skype_highlighting

See the website for Directions.  

Dress code: Appropriate for a formal event.

Parking: The church has a small lot for mass attendees to park without charge. 9:30 AM mass attendees should have enough parking spaces. 

Farewell from Weijian Shi (石伟建)

悼宁和

昨梦依稀在，难忘湘江情，赴美欲叙旧，痛惜君已行。

 

Farewell from Boming Chen (陈伯明)

I was shocked when I heard the sad news that Ning He has passed away and left us forever. I was thinking to see her with my wife after she comes back from her business trip in China. But now it’s too late.

When I talked with her on the phone about two months ago, she was in very good mood. Our conversation lasted more than half hour. We talked a lot about her life, her work, her family and her business trips to China, and much more. She was so optimistic and positive about her work and life. I told her that the changes in Beijing and China are so tremendous that she might get lost in Beijing. She told me that she’d like to visit Beijing, her brother and other friends in China. We never touched the topic of her health. She didn’t show any sign of suffering from cancer. I was praying for her in my heart and wished she could recover soon and make her final trip to China.

Ning He was my classmate in Changsha Railway Institute. She was a great student. She demonstrated her special talent and ability in various jobs with excellent performance.  About five years ago, she was hired to work for the National Transportation Safety Board, an independent U.S. Federal Government agency. We were so proud of her!

Ning He was a great lady and great mother! Whenever friends and relatives needed help, she was always there to help. She never thought of herself.  She was hard working. She was strong! She never gave up!

We have lost a good friend. But we’ll always remember her. She will live in our heart forever!

Farewell from Xiangli Peng (彭湘莉)

 

老同学宁和离我们而去，噩耗传来，不胜悲痛！

宁和是我的大学同学，记得我们这届英语专业的女生小合唱颇有些名气，宁和是我们其中的一员。她和我也曾在本专业的女子篮球队中并肩作战，她的出色球技和矫健身影给我留下深刻印象。

她患病期间，我和她通过好几次电话，深深感佩于她与疾病搏斗的坚强意志和乐观精神。

宁和，你安息吧！你是一位强者，我们永远怀念你！

望宁和的女儿和所有亲人节哀顺变，多多保重！

在此，我还要向昭全、文华夫妇表示深深的敬意！在宁和患病期间，他们给予她深切的关怀和鼓励。

彭湘莉

From: Prof. Junliang Zhang (张君良老师)

I was shocked to learn that Ning He, my student, passed away on June 16th. This tragic news has completely stunned me. I cannot help recalling her smiling face, strong will and self sacrificing spirit. After over 30 years, I can still remember that she was one of the best students in the class. She was always hardworking, friendly with other students, and ready to give others a helping hand. In Jan. 2008, I went on an errand to the States where I met her. She invited me to her home and prepared dinner for me. We talked long hours about her college life and also her life in the States. We enjoyed ourselves immensely that day, and that seemed something happened only yesterday. The sad new breaks my old hear, how I wish I could see her again. Please accept my deep and true sympathy to her family and friends.

Zhang Junliang
[Ning He's college professor]

Sad News (噩耗)

Dear friends,

With a saddest heart, I have to inform you, on behalf of Ning’s daughter, Ning Xu that Ning (He Ning 宁和) passed away at 8:42 am today after a courageous battle with cancer. Ning was my college roommate, and she, my husband Chaochuan (昭全), and I were college classmates. We have been close friends for decades. Our last visit to see Ning was on May 21st and my last phone talk with her was last week after she was discharged from Inova Fairfax Hospital. We did not expect her life would end so soon. Ning was truly an extraordinary and courageous lady!
Ning, you will always be in my heart! 

I will post details regarding the arrangements when they are available from the family.

Today I got a phone call from Xu Ning, Ning's daughter ...

When I got home from work around 7:30 pm today (last night to be exact), I had a phone message from Xu Ning letting me know that her mom is back in the hospital again. Xu Ning asked me to call her after 9:00 pm but her phone kept busy till after 10:00 pm. I offered to help create something like this to make it easier for her to keep Ning's friends up to date about Ning's situation. I know that Ning is still fighting ... Please join me in sending loving thoughts and support to Ning and her family.