Speech at Memorial Service

Photograph from NS

Good morning!

My name is Wen-Hua Ren.  

He Ning, Boming Chen (who flew here from Los Angeles last night), my husband Chaochuan Chen (who is in China now) and I were classmates in college.  He Ning and I were roommates.  In fact, we shared a bunk bed for three years.  She came from Beijing.  I was from the east, a small city near Shanghai.  Her sweet voice with pure Beijing accent, her gentle smiles, her beautiful Chinese handwriting, and also her elegant name instantly won my admiration. Before long, we became best friends.

We did everything together: go to class, to the dining room, to our volunteer job at the college radio station.  We were in the same school play, in the same chorus.  Well, not exactly everything. There was one thing I was not able to do with her – that was playing basketball.  He Ning was a skilled basketball player but I never touched a basketball.  She was the captain of the college women’s basketball team.  I had to play her loyal fan outside the court, always wondering how could such a gentle young woman be so competitive and aggressive on the court.  She had many fans.  Oh, my!  She was popular on campus.

In class, He Ning was a top student and every teacher’s favorite.  She was smart, diligent and academically outstanding. But at the same time, she was modest, down-to-earth, and always willing to share what she learned and help her fellow classmates.  She was nice to everybody no matter which part of the country and what background he/she was from.     

After college, we kept in touch.  As years went by, my admiration and respect for He Ning continued to grow.  I was often amazed by how much she had accomplished in her life.  Only if I was given the time now to list them all.  But please do allow me to mention a couple of her career accomplishments.

He Ning worked in China, Tanzania, Germany, and the United States.  She worked in several U.S. and Chinese engineering consulting companies.  She assisted one of those companies in establishing the first joint venture in the engineering field in China in the early eighties. I could proudly say that she was one of the few pioneers who laid the foundation then for China’s infrastructure today. And the first Holiday Inn Lido Beijing was one of the projects she worked for. She worked for The Louis Berger Group, Inc. for over 15 years and became the director of its Technology Transfer Programs. Many of her projects became reality in China, including highways built in the remote provinces in China.   

Fate brought us together again in the early 90s when she was working in East Orange, the neighboring town of Newark where my husband and I started to work for Rutgers University. We started to do things together again, go to shows, weekly Chinese painting class on Friday night, holiday parties and so on. In winter 2007, we traveled together in Spain together. He Ning and I even had a day trip together to Toledo there. She had done all the research and planning beforehand, I only needed to follow her. We had a wonderful time.  

He Ning loved to travel and enjoyed nature. She had been to many parts of the States, and traveled to many countries in the world including Iraq in 2005. She was always eager and curious to learn about other cultures and was able to make friends where ever she went.  She had a huge network of friends which often made me jealous.  

On surface, He Ning gave the impression of a modern and westernized woman. Deep down, she was very traditional. She loved her native country, China, treasured its history and culture, and inherited its values and spirit.

She loved her daughter, Ning Xu very much.  She made selfless sacrifices for her and wanted her to be happy and successful as she was.  She also loved her son-in-law, Joey and granddaughter Baobao who brought much joy to her life.

After He Ning had cancer, we called her more often.  Over the phone, she was always calm, gentle, hopeful and optimistic.  My husband and I visited her several times.  Our last visit was May 21^st.  She was happy to see us and introduced us to Bob, a dear friend she met six months ago.  We had long conversations and she did not want them to end.  

He Ning loved life, lived each and every day to the fullest, and never stopped learning, working, giving and loving.  She fought a courageous battle against cancer.  Unfortunately, I lost a good friend. The world lost an intelligent, independent, gentle, generous and gracious human being.

I want to extend my deepest sympathy and condolences to her family, relatives and friends.  

He Ning, Thank you for being a good friend. You were and will always be my inspiration.  You will be in my heart forever.  

Ning He, my dear friend, please rest in peace!