From Washington Post Obituary Guest Book (by Qiying 启盈)

Every Sunday evening, for me, is Ning He time.  Before 2008, we called each other every now and then.  Around Thanksgiving 2008, she called and told me that she had cancer.  She asked me to get it checked because she is the second cousin who’s got this kind of cancer in our extended family.  From then on we talked every Sunday evening sometimes for as long as 5 hours.

From those calls, I witnessed the heroic fight she put up against the disease.  While an average stage 4 patient has less than 1 year after the diagnosis (per her doctor), Ning He had 2+ years when she was relatively healthy and living life to the fullest.  After the first two rounds of successful chemo/radiation, not-so-good news started to appear.  She would not dwell on them instead she focused on the next fight.  Every time I would be upset and down hearing about those news – without exception she would lift me up by the end of the call and I was, like her, full of hope again.  She was truly the A+ patient - I told her that if the doctors could bottle her spirit, they would have prescribed it to all their patients.   

As I told her by her bedside on 6/14 – Ning He you’ve lived a good life traveling the world making great friends.  You’ve fought a good fight and have *won* in my book.  You truly can leave without any regret!

Speech at the Memorial Service (by Wen-Hua 文华)

In the afternoon of June 24, Xu Ning asked me if I could say a few words about her mom at He Ning's memorial service to be held the next day morning.  That night, I struggled very hard writing it because there were simply too many things but too little time to say about He Ning.

I took the early train from New Jersey to Washington DC the next day morning. When I got out of the Union Station, the weather was sunny and beautiful. The taxi driver was extra nice to me and got me to the church on time.

Inside, in front of the altar, He Ning's picture was surrounded by flowers - white peonies, chrysanthemums, lilies, roses, hydrangeas …  Right away, I recognized the red vest. The picture was taken in a garden when He Ning travelled with us in Spain in 2007. She seemed to be looking at me, and then beyond me, with a mysterious smile, still so calm, so gentle, and so wise.

My speech was after the eulogy by He Ning’s son-in-law. With a very emotionally difficult start, I read on, slowly but clearly. I did not want people to miss a single word I had to say about He Ning.

How I wish I had more time …

I hope what I said and how I said it made He Ning proud.

To read my speech at the service, please click here.

宁和大姐，你走好了！(by Paul Bao 包华富)

此时此刻，在两千多英里之外的华盛顿，你的亲朋好友正在教堂里为你送行。由于路途遥远和预定旅行计划所限，小弟不能前去看一眼你遗照上的笑容，向亲爱的大姐鞠个躬，向远行的你挥挥手，道一个珍重，祈一声平安。因此，我打开了电脑，匆匆写下这几段文字，以表对大姐的深深缅怀，在我悲痛的心中默默为你送行。

宁和大姐，我们虽毕业于同一所大学的同一个专业，而且你也只高我一届，但是在同学期间，我只知道你的名字，只看过你在篮球场上的飒爽英姿和含蓄的嫣然一笑。真正开始认识你，是我们同在坦桑尼亚首都达累斯萨拉姆工作的时候。当时，我刚到中国援坦赞铁路工作组工作，分到你所在的运输组。初到那遥远陌生的南国，接触那些当地的铁路官员，心里总有那么一点发颤。作为学姐，你真诚热情地欢迎我，在我遇到曾在北方交大上学的当地调度员的故意刁难时，鼓励安慰我，使我很快就适应了环境，担当起自己的职责。时隔多年，我已经记不得我们在一起工作了多长时间，好像只有数月，又好像有近一年，可是，大姐对我的关爱，却永远温暖着我的心。驻地篮球场边你的笑容、海滨游泳野餐、周末聚餐、共饮新鲜椰汁、采摘黄熟的芒果、饱食自己抓来的蓝腿大螃蟹，这一幕幕的往事，迄今还历历在目。我还期望某日到华盛顿去探望你，叙叙旧呢。没想到那该死的病魔却活生生地夺走了你还如此年轻的生命！

宁和大姐，在人生的轨道上，我很有幸几次与你相遇，而且还总是你先到我后至。你肯定还记得，1983年的春天，你在新泽西工作了，我又刚到美国求学。大学里放春假了，我飞到你所在的城市去看望你。当时我在美国的一个小而闭塞的大学城，几乎没有任何东方人的面孔，也没有机会去看外面精彩的世界。当在机场看到迎接我的你，那可是多么的亲切，你的音容笑貌，在分别约五年后，又一次格外地温暖了我的心。当天，你接了我就带我去曼哈顿游玩。虽说是春假期间，但曼哈顿还有初春的寒意，那天你穿着红黑相间的花丝绸薄棉袄，黑色的西裤，走在曼哈顿的大街上，面带自信从容的微笑，突显东方女性苗条 优雅、端庄大方的美丽形象。时隔多年，我们具体游玩了哪些地方，购买了什么物品，我已经完全记不得了，但大姐的亲切、热情和美丽却永远储存在我记忆的硬盘里。傍晚回到住处，你还为我做吃的，并给我从国内带来当时还不够争气的衣服缝补上脱开的线。你一边在灯下干着手中的活，一边跟我聊着在美国公司里同事间的一些趣事，偶尔也叙说我们当年在非洲的一些往事。因为时间有限，我第二天就离开了。你到机场送我，一直送我上了飞机。在登机门前挥手告别时，我看着微笑的你，心想我们一定会有再见面的机会的。

可人生是那么不可预测，之后我回国工作，第二次来美国求学，而后又留在美国工作生活，却只有通过若干次电话而没有再见过面。至今想来，我非常愧疚！我愧疚自己没有与你时常保持联系，愧疚2010年末听说你患病后没有及时去看你，以致痛失给你安慰和支持的机会！

宁和大姐，我相信你现在前往的一定是一个美好的世界！因为小弟知道，你独立自信、发奋图进的精神、你博爱宽容助人为乐的品格、你朴实无华美丽优雅的形象，曾像阳光一样温暖过许多像我一样的朋友和熟人。若宇宙间果真有天堂，那里肯定有一方属于你的奇妙净土，任你发挥你的聪明才智和无穷创造，让你需要时静静地安息。大姐，我感谢你在人生的几个交叉点上给我的温暖和关怀。在你远行的今天，我遥祝你一路平安！大姐，你走好了！

包华富

2011年6月25日于美国凤凰城

Obituary

Please click on the link below to read Ning He's obituary posted in The Washington Post on Friday, June 24, 2011:

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/washingtonpost/obituary.aspx?page=lifestory&pid=152180577

In lieu of flowers, contributions may be made in He's name to The Nature Conservancy .

From Qihui Yang ( 杨琦辉 )

I was very shocked to learn that He Ning passed away on June 16, 2011. I couldn't believe that is true when Wenhua, her close friend, told me the sad news this morning. I have been feeling so sad since then. We have been friends for many years. Ning was a hard worker, a courageous fighter with cancer and a great mother. I have not seen her for a few years due to some reasons. I was intending to go to DC and visit her last year, but did not make it. Now, she left us forever. I feel so sad and so sorry about that. I have lost a very good friend and I will remember her.

A tribute to He Ning from Bob

I am deeply saddened by the loss of my dearest friend He Ning. My love and respect for her had steadily grown during the 6 plus months that I knew her. During that time I witnessed first hand her courageous battle against cancer. I admired how she handled herself throughout that ordeal never letting it get her down remaining positive for herself and those around her. She continued to work and even found the strength and energy to volunteer with several charities during this trying time.

She was strong, independent and selfless to the very end. I remember when the doctor told her that she only had a short time to live. She said,"I am glad it is only a short time so that the people around me  will not have to suffer too much."

From her sweet voice and wry smile to her kind heart, I will miss everything about her.

Memorial Service for He Ning

The memorial service for He Ning will be held at Holy Rosary Church.

Date: Saturday, June 25, 2011

Time: 9:30 AM

Location: Holy Rosary Church, 595 Third Street, NW, Washington, DC 20001

Phone: 202-638-0165 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting              202-638-0165      end_of_the_skype_highlighting

See the website for Directions.  

Dress code: Appropriate for a formal event.

Parking: The church has a small lot for mass attendees to park without charge. 9:30 AM mass attendees should have enough parking spaces. 

Farewell from Weijian Shi (石伟建)

悼宁和

昨梦依稀在，难忘湘江情，赴美欲叙旧，痛惜君已行。

 

Farewell from Boming Chen (陈伯明)

I was shocked when I heard the sad news that Ning He has passed away and left us forever. I was thinking to see her with my wife after she comes back from her business trip in China. But now it’s too late.

When I talked with her on the phone about two months ago, she was in very good mood. Our conversation lasted more than half hour. We talked a lot about her life, her work, her family and her business trips to China, and much more. She was so optimistic and positive about her work and life. I told her that the changes in Beijing and China are so tremendous that she might get lost in Beijing. She told me that she’d like to visit Beijing, her brother and other friends in China. We never touched the topic of her health. She didn’t show any sign of suffering from cancer. I was praying for her in my heart and wished she could recover soon and make her final trip to China.

Ning He was my classmate in Changsha Railway Institute. She was a great student. She demonstrated her special talent and ability in various jobs with excellent performance.  About five years ago, she was hired to work for the National Transportation Safety Board, an independent U.S. Federal Government agency. We were so proud of her!

Ning He was a great lady and great mother! Whenever friends and relatives needed help, she was always there to help. She never thought of herself.  She was hard working. She was strong! She never gave up!

We have lost a good friend. But we’ll always remember her. She will live in our heart forever!

Farewell from Xiangli Peng (彭湘莉)

 

老同学宁和离我们而去，噩耗传来，不胜悲痛！

宁和是我的大学同学，记得我们这届英语专业的女生小合唱颇有些名气，宁和是我们其中的一员。她和我也曾在本专业的女子篮球队中并肩作战，她的出色球技和矫健身影给我留下深刻印象。

她患病期间，我和她通过好几次电话，深深感佩于她与疾病搏斗的坚强意志和乐观精神。

宁和，你安息吧！你是一位强者，我们永远怀念你！

望宁和的女儿和所有亲人节哀顺变，多多保重！

在此，我还要向昭全、文华夫妇表示深深的敬意！在宁和患病期间，他们给予她深切的关怀和鼓励。

彭湘莉

From: Prof. Junliang Zhang (张君良老师)

I was shocked to learn that Ning He, my student, passed away on June 16th. This tragic news has completely stunned me. I cannot help recalling her smiling face, strong will and self sacrificing spirit. After over 30 years, I can still remember that she was one of the best students in the class. She was always hardworking, friendly with other students, and ready to give others a helping hand. In Jan. 2008, I went on an errand to the States where I met her. She invited me to her home and prepared dinner for me. We talked long hours about her college life and also her life in the States. We enjoyed ourselves immensely that day, and that seemed something happened only yesterday. The sad new breaks my old hear, how I wish I could see her again. Please accept my deep and true sympathy to her family and friends.

Zhang Junliang
[Ning He's college professor]

Sad News (噩耗)

Dear friends,

With a saddest heart, I have to inform you, on behalf of Ning’s daughter, Ning Xu that Ning (He Ning 宁和) passed away at 8:42 am today after a courageous battle with cancer. Ning was my college roommate, and she, my husband Chaochuan (昭全), and I were college classmates. We have been close friends for decades. Our last visit to see Ning was on May 21st and my last phone talk with her was last week after she was discharged from Inova Fairfax Hospital. We did not expect her life would end so soon. Ning was truly an extraordinary and courageous lady!
Ning, you will always be in my heart! 

I will post details regarding the arrangements when they are available from the family.

Today I got a phone call from Xu Ning, Ning's daughter ...

When I got home from work around 7:30 pm today (last night to be exact), I had a phone message from Xu Ning letting me know that her mom is back in the hospital again. Xu Ning asked me to call her after 9:00 pm but her phone kept busy till after 10:00 pm. I offered to help create something like this to make it easier for her to keep Ning's friends up to date about Ning's situation. I know that Ning is still fighting ... Please join me in sending loving thoughts and support to Ning and her family.